I'm Tired & Whiny

I've had 11 (now 12, because my Brother in Law Ross has just arrived) extra bodies in my home for 22 days now.  I've been taking my kids to Chinese Dance, Summer Camp, Soccer Camp, Park Days, Sleepovers, and Play Days all summer.  I've been hosting weekly 4H meetings and frantically trying to get the kids ready for fair without really even knowing what I'm doing.  I've been trying to coordinate meals with people who are particular about what they eat, but who won't tell you in advance not to cook for them, or offer to cook separately for themselves.  My husband is either out of town or working like a dog in this heat, and so is usually rather grumpy, especially when I bring up the dreaded remodel projects still left to be done.

I'm watching my new home get "broken in" at an awesome rate because of the wear and tear of this many bodies in the house.  Frequent juice spills (my family doesn't drink much juice, but my guests do)  have invited ant invaders into my home for the first time in 12 years.  Even with my sister helping out a lot with the cleaning and some with the cooking, I'm spending much of my "spare" time trying to keep the clutter and dishes under control.  Clint is panicking at the numerous scratches and water spills occuring on the hardwood floor he worked so hard on. 

My 22 year old nephew is very careful not to contribute to the messes in any way, and works hard at staying out of the way, but doesn't seem to understand the concept of offering to help out with stuff in exchange for a free place to stay.  He will help if asked, but that is all.  Ditto with my teenage neice.  They are nice kids, but obviously weren't trained in the "Everyone who lives here must contribute something" theory of family life (this is what I tell my kids...it doesn't matter if you haven't contributed to the mess, if you are living in the house and enjoying the roof over your head, the computer, TV, and air conditioner, then you should be doing something substantial in exchange). 

My sister takes her whole family out of the house from time to time, to give me space, but it just makes me feel worse.  I look around the blessedly silent house and urgently want to clean and straighten and put eveything to rights and get my life back on track...but I know I can't, because it's not over.

Right before my sister & family came, my dad was here for 10 days.  My mom is planning to come visit soon.  Why would she not consider postponing her trip and givng me a break from visitors?  I have NO idea.

I'm not making it to the club anymore.  I can't find time to work out.  I'm not going to be able to finish this month's book group book because I'm only getting through about 10 pages a night before I pass out.  I don't get to read with the girls anymore because one of them  is always away at some activity, and because with their 7 1/2 year old cousin here they are having such an awesome time playing that they can't be bothered with stories.  But I miss it. 

Scheduling several summer activities didn't seem like a bad idea at the time.  We took the whole school year off; except for girl scouts and homeschooling we had no regular activities.  So a few short term summer classes seemed like a great idea.  Somehow, enough unexpected events have occured to completely overcrowd my life. It would be unfair to say it's just the visitors.  I would be overscheduled right now even without visitors. 

But it's hard not knowing how long they will be staying, knowing that they can't really leave because they have no home to go to.  What if they can't find a place for a long time?  They have very specific needs, and aren't receptive to the idea of finding a less than suitable place temporarily until the "right" place comes along.  While I can understand the hassle of moving twice, how long will we all be living under one roof? 

I think my sister was planning to stay a month.  But she isn't even close to finding the "right" place, and her husband just got here and still needs to look for work.  How can all that happen in one week?  

I'm sure I just need to develop the right attitude.  It's an excellent opportunity to practice Buddhist mindfullness and acceptance.  I should be proud that I have come so far that I can manage such a busy life and not fall apart, which is what I would have done five years ago. 

I'm just so tired. Not in body, but in mind.  My mind feels so crowded, I know I am going to start slipping.  I don't know what I will forget, or screw up, but it will be something.  Soon.